Untitled AP Fluff
by Bookwrm17
Summary: The title kinda says it all. Padme's thoughts after her wedding.


**Author's Note:** Okay, so, here we have yet another short fic from the mind of Katie Byrnes. I think Mave is to blame for this one, and you'll see why. She's big on irony... (And if you have no clue who Mave is, or what I'm talking about, see my profile.)

**Sumary: **The title kinda says it all. Padme's thoughts after her wedding.

**Disclaimer:** Star Wars is not mine.

_Untitled AP Fluff_

Before she and Anakin had been reunited, Padmé had never thought about love or romance. Quite frankly, she had never had time for it. She had been so wrapped up in her senatorial duties, so busy thinking about other people, that she had never stopped to think about herself, about what she wanted.

All that had changed the moment she saw him again, and realized that the charming young boy she had known ten years ago had matured into a handsome young man, and that she was the focus of his affection. This had at once thrilled and terrified her.

She new that they could never be together. He was a Jedi, and attachment was forbidden for him. Yet when they were alone on Naboo, she had enjoyed his attention. She had begun to realize that his feelings for her were more than a simple childhood crush. He was truly in love with her. It was also while on Naboo that she began to realize that her feelings for him were more complex than she had realized.

The realization had come slowly. At first, she had ignored it. He was still a Jedi, after all. But her love for him was not easily suppressed. It kept surfacing in her mind. Often she would catch her self dwelling on it, longing to act upon her feelings, and she would have to tell herself once more that they simply could not be together.

Then Geonosis had happened. Faced with almost certain death, she had come right out and confessed her feelings to Anakin. After the battle, after her own wounds had healed, she managed to snatch a moment alone with him as he recovered from surgery. He had been ashamed of his mechanical arm. He saw it as a constant reminder of defeat, of failure. She had told him that it did not matter to her, that he would become used to it, that soon he would think of it as a part of his own body. He had looked at her blankly and said, "That's what I'm afraid of."

His words had seemed strange to her, but she could not get him to explain what he had meant, and she doubted it he even knew. But soon they were on their way back to Naboo, back to where she had first begun to fall in love with him, and the strange comment was forgotten.

The days after their wedding were spent soaking in each other's presence and basking in each other's love. They lived as if in a dream. Neither could quite believe that it was real, both were afraid that at any moment they would awake to find that none of it had happened. Each clung to the other as if to let them out of their sight would be to loose them forever.

But they both knew that this idealistic existence could not last forever, that sooner or later they would have to part ways and return to their everyday lives. Sure enough, after three days of perfection, Anakin was recalled to Coruscant, and Padmé was left alone at Varykino, eyes streaming with tears, his good-bye kiss still burning on her lips.

She had known it would be like this when she had agreed to marry him, had prepared herself for the inevitable movement when she would find herself alone, just as, she only now realized, she had been before he came back into her life. Yet here the moment was, and she could barely control her tears. She knew that she would have to collect herself eventually. In a few days time, she too would be returning to Coruscant, and she would have to once again don the identity of Senator Amidala and pretend for all the world that nothing more than the outbreak of civil war had occurred on Geonosis.

A wave of fear swept over her as she remembered what Anakin had been like after the battle: weak, injured, defeated. By the time she was back on Coruscant, Anakin would doubtless have been sene of the fight again. What if he was injured more seriously this time? What if he didn't come back to her? Would she be left to confront his death having spent so little time with her love? Or would there be no finality about it? What if he simply disappeared in battle? What if they never found him? Would she have to live out the rest of her life wondering what had become of him, hoping beyond hope that one day he would turn up again? She did not think she could bear that.

_I miss him, _she thought, even though he had barely been gone one day. She wanted him here with her to sooth her fears and promise her that he would always return to her. She needed to feel the security of his arms around her shoulders, the warmth of his lips on hers. She needed _him_.

_Stop it,_ she chided herself, _He's barely_ _been gone a day. How are you going to deal with weeks of separation? You need to be strong. Crying isn't going to bring him back any sooner._ It helped some what, but all the brave thoughts she could conjure could not banish the feeling of emptiness that had settled in her chest, whereshe was sure her heart ought to be, as though when Anakin had left, he had taken it with him. She did not doubt that Anakin felt as though he had left his behind.

Even in her loneliness, she felt a felt a spark of hope, for she knew that as long as they held each others hearts so, they would be together.

And nothing would ever tear them apart.

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